k i found this story on some site lol, enjoy
ok so I take pretty big shits... like mosterous shits. this was the first time i had been to my girlfriends house and i was to the point where the turtle head started to inch it's way out. Brown snake was playing peek a boo with my butt hole.
I just had to let this one out or i was gunna obliterate my pants with shit.
"Baby, do you have a bathroom?"
"uhm yeah, why?"
"well uhh my contact is drying up. ill be right back"
I lock the door and sit on the toilet. trying to be as quiet as possible. fuck, i let out the longest, loudest, nastiest shit snake ever... toilet wont flush... i flushed again.... wont flush.... DAMMIT!
how embarassing would it be, if the girl you just started dating found a big shit rod road blocking her bathroom? pretty fuckin embarrassing if you ask me.
So to my manly instinct i think of a way to dispose of it. Well, you see, i was pretty desperate to get rid of this thing. My hand instinctivally, reaches in the toilet water, grasping the big piece of shit. Gagging all over the dam place, i slowly walk the heap of turd soup over to the bathtub. PLOP. dropped it all in the bathtub...BAD IDEA
"why the hell did i put it in the bathtub?" im wondering to myself. so to make matters worse i begin to shove the shit down the shower drain. EVAN WORSE IDEA! i just clogged the shower drain with shit? thats worse then clogging the damn toilet!
i walk back into her bedroom and sit down:
"you were in there for a while."
"yeahh my contacts really bug me. sorry"
"mhm do you wanna go do something later? kelly called and said a few people were going to the mall."
"yeah that sounds good"
(i was really glad she said this because it would get us out of her house so i could play off the shower shit drain until later.)
"ok im gunna go get a quik shower.."
FUCK FUCK FUCK
I began to panic. This beautiful girl was about find her shower clogged with MY shit! i had to get out of there:
"i cant go tonight. i have to go home. sorry"
"its okay. i guess ill just go with kelly."
I sat at home for 45 minutes worried fuckless what was going to happen... my phone begins to ring... shit...
"WHAT THE FUCK!"
"please dont be mad!"
"I CANT BELIEVE THIS!"
"it was an..."
"MY LITTLE BROTHER SHIT IN MY SHOWER!"
Owner C wrote:LOL AT THE END LMFAO
Ikr this is amazing lol
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